Halloween? We’re dancing to Thriller and thrashing to Bark at the Moon. It’s the rom-com of holidays-we all know what’s going to happen and it’s going to end happily. And, bluntly, Christmas music just doesn’t rock enough.
There is not enough variety in carols to sustain a two-month assault on my ears, so I push hard to celebrate the arrival of the December holidays until, oddly, December. In case you are wondering, that was not hyperbole-it was 90 degrees on Thanksgiving this year. Living in LA it feels wrong walking outside singing “Let It Snow” when it is 90 degrees out on Thanksgiving. While some of my fervor may be out of respect for Thanksgiving (a very underrated bacchanalian holiday where the goal is to hang out with those close to you and consume things like you were an H2 on a road trip), I also get really sick of Christmas music. I threaten to fire employees, yell loudly when I hear the faint jingling of bells, and I materialize as the physical embodiment of “Bah Humbug” until Santa’s sleigh arrives with the Macy’s Day Parade. I’m a strict “No Christmas Until After Thanksgiving” kind of guy.
